Winter in Chicago

As cold weather approaches, with its inevitable snowfall, I feel the need to put a few things into words
I have lived in and around Chicago pretty much all of my life. I shoveled my way to grade school back in ’67. In ’79 I drove back from college in a volkswagon beetle with no heat to help keep my folks place clear of snow.
Snow is a fact of life in Chicago winters. However, over the last decade or so, the ability of the residents to deal with this foreseeable hardship has dwindled. I can only assume that with the changing demographics of the neighborhood, certain rules and strategies for surviving this challenge are being lost.


It’s gonna snow
At some time each winter, eight to ten inches of snow will fall in one shot, and you will not be able to drive your car for a few days.

Rule #1 Plan ahead
Have a strategy in place now for how to get to work and what your kids will do on snow days.
You’re going to have to do a lot of walking. Do not be embarrassed by galoshes, long underwear and goofy looking hats, you’re gonna need them and so will everyone else.
Go get some salt and sand and a shovel to keep in your car. Do it now.

Snowplow drivers.
I don’t know what these people do the rest of the year, but for three months, they are heroes. They work long hours, in crummy conditions, at a job that never seems to be finished. They’re probably in a bad mood and are driving a six ton motor vehicle with a steel plate on the front.

Rule # 2 Stay the heck out of their way.
If the thought crosses your mind that you know this is a snow route, but you are just gonna park long enough to get a sixpack and a bag of cheese doodles, then you deserve to have your car hit.

Street parking
The City of Chicago grew up before the auto industry. As a result, most of us have to park on the side streets.

Rule # 3 Use mass transportation.
The city has a distinct hierarchy to its plowing priorities.
First they plow the arterials. If it has a bus route on it, the city plows it first and does not plow anything else until the snow stops and these main routes stay clear of snow.
Next they plow the feeders. If there is a stoplight where it joins the main street, it gets plowed second.
Finally they plow the side streets. If at any time, it starts snowing again, they go back to the arterials and process starts over.
Your car may be snowbound for days. Get over it and take the bus.

Rule #4 Plan ahead
If you know a storm is coming and you park on a one way street, grab a space on the left side. Snowplows scowl to the right and leave a smaller pile on the left.
Shovel your car out before the plows come through. The snow is a lot easier to move before it gets pounded into slush. Shovel between the cars, and a two foot wide path on the street side. Shovel from the front of your car to the front door of the car behind you. That way, the snow plow isn’t pushing the snow in front of their car onto yours.
Remember, no one but you is responsible for shoveling out your car. You can leave it there all winter if you want to, but don’t whine about it. It annoys the rest of us.

Rule # 5 Don’t mess with another man’s dibs.
Protecting the fruits of your labor with lawn furniture is a time honored tradition in Chicago. I have never dibsed, but that is a personal choice. As a result of this choice, I have to shovel about a blocks worth of parking spaces each winter, and I can sympathize with the practice.
If you are a dibser, realize that shoveling out a spot, does not allow you to stake a claim until Easter. Once the streets are clear and running, get that trash out of the street and back under your porch, where it belongs.

Sidewalks
As a citizen of this city, there are few things as embarrassing as seeing schoolkids and old ladies with shopping baskets, walking down tire ruts in the middle of the street because no one clears their sidewalks.

Rule #6 Shovel your sidewalk.
Get up early and clear it before the kids have to go to school. Don’t wait until it stops snowing. It is a lot less strenuous to move two inches of snow twice than it is to shift four inches in one shot. If you have a neighbor who is physically unable to shovel, clear theirs as well.

City ordinance states:
Every owner, lessee, tenant, occupant or other person having charge of any building or lot of ground in the city abutting upon any public way or public place shall remove the snow and ice from the sidewalk in front of such building or lot of ground.

So if you live in an apartment or condo and you are wondering who is responsible for shoveling your sidewalks. The answer is that you are. Get off your keester and grab a shovel.
As I said earlier, Snow is a fact of life in Chicago winters, but if we all pull together, it is not a big deal.

Paul K. Dickman