Get yourself some clout

For those of you who have never read Royko, clout is the mysterious force used to redirect the inertia of the political machine into the direction you want it to go.


Elected officials have some small measure of clout given to them through the process of election.
All other clout needs to be earned.

These are the ways you earn it;

Clout by relation.
Be related to someone with clout. The mayor's nephew, apparently, has clout by relation

Clout by association.
Hobknob with the clout snobs. Some of it will rub off.

Clout by donation.
Freely grease the wheels of the political machine. Be prepared to apply more grease, they will squeak whenever they need it.

Clout by intimidation.
The mob can do this in its purest form, but only as a last resort. They usually prefer the previous two methods. The rest of us have to resort to a law suit.

Clout by aggravation.
Be such a pain in the butt, that they will do what you want, just to get rid of you. This is the method most of us regular schmoes must resort to. Groups of schmoes can pool their clout to achieve a common goal. If you add pitchforks and torches, you can move up to clout by intimidation.


Paul K. Dickman