Egg on the face.

The City of Chicago, like most governing bodies, operates in strict accordance with the guidelines set by the "Egg on the Face School of Crisis Management"
These guidelines state that any crisis involving malfeasance, incompetence or bad planning, has three distinct stages.

In each of these stages the city has only one correct course of action.

Stage one;
The problem is noticed by a member of the general public.

Course of action;
Ignore it, it may go away.
If you receive a gift or a promotion for ignoring it, so much the better.
This is simply a gratuity for doing your job well, no different than your doorman.

Stage two;
The problem has been brought to the attention of the press.

Course of action;
Lie.
Say "It is not our fault, but we're gonna get to the bottom of it."
Send a few departments out on a fact finding Chinese firedrill until the smoke clears.
Next, return to the course of action implemented in stage one.

Stage three;
The problem has been brought to the attention of the Judicial system.

Course of action;
Pay a lot of money to every lawyer you know to fight the problem in court.
When it is apparent that you will lose, settle out of court.
The settlement should include, exorbitant sums of money, grandiose promises and at least one department head falling on their sword.
Then, add the money to the budget, make a token effort to implement the promises, get the department head another job, say "It wasn't our fault" and
return to the course of action implemented in stage one.

Paul K. Dickman